(journal reflect 1/26/18 8:24 PM)

I just completed the Appalachian trail

What am I supposed to do? In a word where we all have goals and expectations, I am completely blind sighted by the emotion of ineptness.

There was a time, most of my life actually. A lonely, introspective, accumulation of dark thoughts. Everything had to be this deep, dark hole of misunderstanding. No one should be expected to live happily through that, but somehow I expected myself to function that way.

I digress. This will work out, I will figure it out, I have to, after all, no one else certainly will.

One month, Chris Pratt. Let’s see how far we get. I have goals, I’m joining a Crossfit gym, I’m eating cleaner than my typical honeybuns & whole milk, I’m making every conscious effort I possibly can to get myself somewhere. Where? That place I dreamed of. How? Money, determination, and support.

I only have one of those things currently, so I better get started.