(journal reflect 5/14/18 9:48 AM)

Dear Chris Pratt,

Today 2 girls were venting to each other about the men in their life. We all stood by the server station outside, waiting by empty sections of tables. I couldn’t help but be a fly on the wall listening to them.

“Its like, as soon as you get over them, they implant themselves back into your life and do it all over again”, one girl said. The other nodded in agreement looking exasperated. “I gave him my whole heart, which I never wanted to do again after my divorce, but I did it anyways, and I am just done with men now”.

I twisted my right toe into the ground as I nonchalantly listened to them. Everything they were saying brought back feelings I hadn’t felt in a long time. It made me realize, while I was lonely and looking for that someone to share life with, maybe I should count my blessings that I was alone. Try to enjoy not having to worry about any of that inevitable drama associated with a relationship. Seemed like a lot of frustration, and for what?

Not in the tiniest fraction did I miss the tears and anxiety I would get from guys I would date. Of course, it wasn’t all bad. But, looking back I really did put myself through a lot of unnecessary situations. I can see it now, taking a hard reset really helped clear that fog from my mind.

Alas, I still hold out hope for the good things. Things being a man that goes out with me on fun adventures, encourages me to think in different ways, and loves giving me hugs.

I can’t help but wonder, do those things require the trade off of dealing with all these bad things I keep hearing about in other people relationships?

I tell remind myself to keep this mindset; that I attract the energy I . Certainly just wishing and hoping hasn’t proven to be useful in 10 years.